Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch by Elias Zapple

One - Odd Creatures, Slugs & Elias ZappleĮver since I was a little sprout I have enjoyed writing complete and utter nonsense that has bewildered, shocked and confused my many loyal slugs. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons/slugs, living or dead, is purely coincidental. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark.Įlias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them.

Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop.Īfter that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe.

Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch by Elias Zapple